Vladimir bought the Sherlock Holmes Blu-ray about two weeks ago. Nearly every night since then he said, “I want to watch Sherlock Holmes tonight.” And nearly every night we pretty much ignored him, or told him it was too late, or something. Okay, to be honest we’d seen the movie before and so weren’t very motivated. But finally, a couple of nights ago, Vladimir announced that he was watching Sherlock Holmes with me, popped it in, and sat down. With my coat around my shoulders, because I was too cold and too lazy to get a blanket, I sat next to him.

I’d had mixed reactions to the trailers of the movies. This was not the Sherlock Holmes I was used to. You know, the uptight, hermetic, brilliant professor who can play the violin and doesn’t care much for social niceties. This was a manic, violent Holmes.

And during my first viewing of the movie, while I had to admit that I liked it, I held on to those reservations.
But now, having seen the movie a second time, I find I like this more manic Holmes. I could do with a little less violence, but I know that isn’t going to happen. This is a Hollywood movie after all. But Robert Downy Jr.’s portrayal is considerably more eccentric than any I’d seen before.

But, now I have to admit. I’ve never read anything Sir Arthur Conan Doyle actually wrote. I hardly watched any of the enactments either. I’m not a real fan of mysteries. Never did Nancy Drew, let alone the Hardy boys. I detested Scooby Doo on a number of levels. I’ve always switched away from the TV mystery series, unless they have some interesting gimmick or character, like Monk or Bones. Then the fun is in watching the characters, but not in the mystery. At least, for me.
My vision of Holmes had come from brief glimpses in culture. Maybe a movie or something way back sometime. And my idea was more wrong than the movie. I’ve now read a bit more of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s stories and I’ll admit a trip to the Wikipedia.

Holmes is not just a quiet hermit. He wasn’t a snob. He is arrogant, it is because he can actually do all the things he thinks he can do and others can’t. I had actually wanted him to be more like Monk, but he was never that. Chaos reigned around him, but not in his head. He sometimes seemed a bit crazed to others, but he always figured things out. The fun in reading Conan Doyle’s mysteries is not in the solutions but in the character of Holme’s himself, and in his relationship with Watson.

Downy Jr’s Sherlock Holmes is closer to the original than any idea I’d ever had.

So it may be that I’ll be reading more of this. Thanks to the movie.

I wonder, should I take great pains to create an essay or just blog my feelings on this whole womanhood thing? The fact that I’m starting out with that question should give you the answer. I’m in the mood to spill my feelings, not organize them all into neat little packets that carefully lead the reader through the point I want to make.

When I was very little, I thought the question had been answered. Now, a woman was barred from no job she wanted. Any dream I had, I could pursue thanks to those who went before me. I even had no idea just how much had been fought for and won. Nor did I realize how complicated it was.

It is way more than one group of people giving another group of people some rights and/or recognition that everyone should have.

It’s about our bodies. Being mothers or wanting to be, and being physically weaker than men though more emotionally and socially aware. And having brains that explore beyond our nurturing, mother goddess nature.

Apart from any conflict in society, we are conflicted within ourselves. Both desires, for many of us women, exist. Wanting to be excellent at both is part of it.

And that’s a big part of why it sometimes feels unfair no matter what society does. Because society can’t overcome our biology. A lot of tried, by denying the fact that men and women are different. But the data is obvious. We are different. We are wired to want to nurture. To cuddle and nurse babies. To comfort. We are more necessary to a very young child than a man is. So when a man is doing the right thing, making a living for his family, if he has played the game right he can be following his career dreams while being a good father. But a woman must give up some of her motherhood – let some other woman take care of her child – to do the same thing unless it involves staying at home. But even then, balancing career and motherhood generally requires more work than career and fatherhood. Though, of course both men or women could fail at the balance.

It just isn’t fair and there is nothing that even the most sensitive and thoughtful man can do about it.

So it really isn’t worth getting angry at men for that. It isn’t worth getting angry at each other.

Anyway, so I get conflicted sometimes. And irritated about it sometimes. And very grateful that my natural inclinations have lead me to writing.

Maybe some solutions: Stop thinking that 20 years old is too young to marry and have children. Because it isn’t. I have no regrets about my “early” marriage. Put children chronologically ahead of career and the biological clock stops being an issue. Younger mothers are less prone to health issues of middle age, easier to get pregnant, have more energy, and closer to childhood so that we can remember what we were thinking when we were very young. Also, though we might make a lighter class load, we can usually combine young motherhood with school since the actual hours away from home are few and can be flexible. By the time the children are all in school a still young woman can get a job. Having children young does not have to equal lack of education, being a mistake, or anything like that.

Be more open to children being in the workplace when it’s possible and try to make it possible.

So, anyway… just a few of my one sided ramblings on the subject. My husband says that in fact, men are forced to work outside of the home or else they’re considered lazy.

On a more interesting note, I recently finished an article for a magazine and am working on another one. And then on the book. Plus, there are short stories to be edited and a couple of them in my head wanting to be written. Heard a really cool name on the radio that fits one of the characters in a story I’m going to rewrite.

Oh yes, and of the four I submitted I’ve gotten two rejections. Sent some back out, gotten a couple of others. A personal rejection with a send more, and a couple from the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction (hardest market to break into) that indicate the stories were fully read. Rejections, but positive. And so to forge onward.

Today, I submitted four stories. Okay, two are on my desk in their envelopes because the mail man had a holiday (which they need like every other human being). Those stories will be in the mailbox tomorrow morning and off to Asimovs and Fantasy and Science Fiction. The other two went to Clarkesworld and Abyss and Apex. Goal one for the week. Clarkesworld should give me their rejection within 24 hours.

Going to Life, the Universe, and Everything at BYU was just the medicine I needed to kick January behind me. It is good to just talk to other writers at diffferent levels, to listen, learn a few things, get a few ideas. Thank you everyone!

Besides, Brandon Sanderson had a fantastic keynote about having a positive outlook on genre fiction and what is coming out of the field. Even if we don’t like vampire stories, other people do and we shouldn’t be dissing them. (Did I mention one of my submissions was actually a vampire story? Hah! I never thought I’d write one but this was just too funny.) I need to go find a link to that talk. Hopefully someone recorded it.  If not I might want to do a more thorough rundown of it.

Oh, and while I was at LTUE I finished the first of my pair of fingerless writing gloves. This knitting things is really fun.

Nanowrimo was my last post. I got four serviceable stories done before the crush of November with its birthdays fell upon me. I need to confirm, but I suspect there is often a gap in my blog around this time of year. Since then, I’ve gotten the book contract, I’ve managed and enjoyed the holidays, and I’ve sludged through the dreary January. And January is dreary. My worst year of the month. Honestly, I think I’ve got that seasonal sad thing. But don’t tell my editor that. Or my mom, or my doctor.

I wrought miracles last year during January. This year wasn’t so miraculous and so maybe I’m being a bit hard on myself.

I did start up knitting. I’m going to like that. I’ve done two scarfs and a hat now. I started on another hat for my daughter, but then I wondered why I was putting off the little treat I wanted to make for myself? So I set aside the hat and have started on the pair of fingerless mittens. My hands get cold sometimes when typing or doing a lot of mouse work, as with 3D applications or uhm, you know, games. But my gaming hours have been wittled away by the knitting. Wonderfully, the knitting seems to hit the same need as the gaming. It is good for my psyche to do something that requires logical thinking and/or math. It seems to massage my brain out of funkiness.  And now, I’ll have something to show for it! After the mittens and hat, I’m going to tackle a sweater.

So, now back to the stories. Had a great idea earlier in the day. Need to pull it back from the… There it is. A non-post apocolyptic YA science fiction short story at least. No plot yet, just a setting and a voice. So maybe there is a novel there. And I’ve definitely got to figure out some cool little thing to write about the knitting.

And the 3D book. I’m excited about it. Really excited about it don’t want to talk about it much. I’ll just say this: I honestly think it will be unique and very useful to the3D  community. I’m excited for it to exist. And it won’t exist without me. My deadline is October. Need some kind of status meter or something.

Well, I haven’t signed up on the site, maybe I should, but I’m getting there. Finished my first story/chapter on Monday, but yesterday was writing group which took up 3 hours, but was still very useful. Will push through today with as much as I can.

So, I got a new computer. It’s a tablet PC with hours and hours of battery power. Joy! As I was contemplating my email, I thought of just starting over. Then I realized, that there is just too much I’d lose. But there is also more than I want, with over 4000 emails. I decided to keep rejections and acceptances, plus a few other writing business things, and then delete almost everything else. Not tax related, or really important family things. Though I haven’t opened the ones I’m deleting almost since the first time I got them, I’m getting nervous. In fact, I’m surprised at the amount of anxiety I’m experiencing, as if I actually were deleting my history.

Here is a summary of it, before I forget. I was involved with the medical blog community for a while, enough so that I even hosted Pediatric Grand Rounds, which I think is no longer extant. I’m not sure, because though I have a couple of medical bloggers I like and read every few months, I’m no longer part of that community.

I had just started a new critique group. It is still extant, but I’m no longer involved because I didn’t have time and I was invited to a more rigorous one.

I am keeping the case study from my physical therapy, because it’s just cool that I was a student’s case study.

Geekatplay did not exist when I first started email. I need to write a post about how that has changed my life.

Deleting emails from a very enthusiastic, and a nice person, but not quite up to par wannabe contributor to Geekatplay. These are well over a year old, but I am still feeling guilty. It’s like I’m deleting the person.

Maybe that is the problem with all the emails. I feel like I’m betraying the sender. For some this isn’t big, since I’m still in touch and some emails were quite fluffy. But others, I’m just getting rid of the only evidence I still have that these people existed.

Well, to all those people, you’re great anyway and don’t take it personally.